Stress, Welly and a damn fine Goose

It has been some time since my last blog and much has happened in the run up to "I have to go shopping", "A Turkey is HOW MUCH!!!" and who can forget the classic "Where exactly did you put the decorations last year?". In my house I can honestly say I have given up trying, Welly has been walking around stressed to the max for the last two weeks and quite frankly if his mood does not improve, it will not be the Goose getting stuffed I can assure you. I have written the cards but failed to post them, bought most of the presents and have failed to wrap them, my house needs a bloody good clean but, yep I failed on that front too, so here I am with less than a week to go and I am at breaking point. I have come to the conclusion that it can all wait because as long as there is food and wine all will be well with the world. I am ignoring the fact my wine, ordered ages ago, has not been delivered, the tickets my pal promised for my favourite band are not forthcoming and I have to now spend Friday night doing all the housework I have been ignoring. I am now off to the hospital to give them the information they failed to get from my Barnsley Hospital notes, then I hope to arrange getting my plate out of my arm, finally. I think a large drink is in order followed by putting The Pogues on the stereo really loud and getting my head into the housework. You didn't really think I was going to tackle cleaning while sober did you?...

The latest "Wellyism"? The new president of America is called Alabama!

Ok people have a great weekend and will write more soon.

Angie xx

The joy that is Wellyism's

I am the proud girlfriend of a lovely man known to all as Welly (obviously not his real name!) and he is, to be fair, a natural blond. Welly has the wonderful ability to stuff up words and get them wrong which (without meaning to be) is funny as hell for me to such an extent, I have started writing them down. Lets start with the quote that started it all...

We were discussing gardening, a passion of mine, and I thought I would have a go at growing Asparagus but, as it takes a couple of years to establish, I explained to Welly I would need an area that would be away from the dogs, grand kids or other animals. As ever he gave me every sign he was listening. I ended by saying "So, what do you think"? He replied "Yeah, great babe, that's a fabulous film"... I was a little confused until I realised what he meant, I had to really bite my tongue before saying "Honey, I think you'll find that was Spartacus!" Nice to know he pays attention.

OK so that gives you an idea of how he thinks so try this one, TV had a arts programme on discussing the up and coming shows that are planned for next year and one of them was "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" which I am very much looking forward to as I am a huge fan of the film and bless him he had to ask "Is that the life story of that Indian girl who won Miss World"? You know what? I think I will take him...

At this point I must stress Welly is a very intelligent man, he is just well, blond! His daughter is no different, she thought a mariner is where you park a boat and cat nip is when your moggie goes out for a night on the tiles.

Is there any hope, no! Is it funny, HELL YES. Blonds rock on a comic scale!