The joy that is Wellyism's

I am the proud girlfriend of a lovely man known to all as Welly (obviously not his real name!) and he is, to be fair, a natural blond. Welly has the wonderful ability to stuff up words and get them wrong which (without meaning to be) is funny as hell for me to such an extent, I have started writing them down. Lets start with the quote that started it all...

We were discussing gardening, a passion of mine, and I thought I would have a go at growing Asparagus but, as it takes a couple of years to establish, I explained to Welly I would need an area that would be away from the dogs, grand kids or other animals. As ever he gave me every sign he was listening. I ended by saying "So, what do you think"? He replied "Yeah, great babe, that's a fabulous film"... I was a little confused until I realised what he meant, I had to really bite my tongue before saying "Honey, I think you'll find that was Spartacus!" Nice to know he pays attention.

OK so that gives you an idea of how he thinks so try this one, TV had a arts programme on discussing the up and coming shows that are planned for next year and one of them was "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" which I am very much looking forward to as I am a huge fan of the film and bless him he had to ask "Is that the life story of that Indian girl who won Miss World"? You know what? I think I will take him...

At this point I must stress Welly is a very intelligent man, he is just well, blond! His daughter is no different, she thought a mariner is where you park a boat and cat nip is when your moggie goes out for a night on the tiles.

Is there any hope, no! Is it funny, HELL YES. Blonds rock on a comic scale!